A writer is a professional spinner of lies. His job: to lay out the truth on a bed of magnificent lies so it is visible… »
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Why they want to marry Simon
I bet you didn’t know this about Simon Cowell: he can do 50 one-handed push-ups. That’s pretty good for a man of 49. Bet you don’t know his middle name either, nor the fact that he is, ahem, in better shape than a Navy… »
Kiss, kiss, the English way
For a people who are painfully private, the English are pretty public when it comes to kissing. There they would be walking down the road, upper lip stiff and at the ready, when suddenly romance overcomes them. The next thing you know, they have grabbed hold of their partner and are kissing the life out… »
Who but the English
The English are possibly the most stiff-lipped bunch ever to sip beer and watch football, but one thing you cannot accuse them of is lacking a sense of humour. Their humour, like the rest of them, is very English – splendidly… »
Englishman, oh Englishman
The English are possibly the most stiff-lipped bunch ever to sip beer and watch football, but one thing you cannot accuse them of is lacking a sense of humour. Their humour, like the rest of them, is very English – splendidly… »
Bless Rooney’s little foot!
The English have the most charming of all national pastimes. Honestly, can you imagine anything better than swaggering to the pub, swigging beer, swearing at the screen, then getting your nose busted by anyone willing to throw a… »
Young guy, old girl
Overheard in the men’s, this conversation between two eight- or nine-year olds, as they wetted the dirt on their face at the washbasin…… »